Mums in Business: Can You Really Have and Do It All? @GraceMarshall
Traditional time management says to focus on one thing at a time. Sounds sensible, but often life just doesn’t happen that way. Whether out of necessity or choice, more and more of us are juggling multiple commitments, whether that’s business and family, employment and voluntary work, community or personal projects.
As a life and business coach, one of the biggest questions I often get asked is “How do I actually do it all? How can I get everything done?”
As a mum I love the idea of being able to work flexibly around my children, the freedom of choosing my own direction, the fulfilment of doing something I enjoy and excel in, something I have fun getting better at, and the sense of achievement and purpose that comes from creating and sharing something of value with the wider world.
At the same time, it is hard work. They say a woman’s work is never done, being a mum is a 24/7 job, and running your own business can be pretty all-consuming too. And no, I don’t think that’s exclusive to women.
At times when things are full on and chaotic, when we’re running late for school, burning the dinner and rushing a piece of work, wondering if we’re giving enough time to do it justice, we can find ourselves wondering…
Is it really possible to have it all? Or are we just being delusional, trying to do it all?
Actually, I think the secret is in the word ‘all’.
It brings out the perfectionist in us. In my early days as a new mum, my idea of motherhood was a collection of the best traits I admired in all the mothers I had ever known. Some were amazing cooks, some had the patience of a saint, some were organized to military precision, some looked stunning, some had great careers, some could play with children for hours on end… and I tried to live up to all of those things and more – something that’s just not meant for one person to be. No wonder I never measured up.
Equally, it’s easy to look at an array of successful businesses and see excellence in every field – those who have a creative genius about them, those with killer instincts and impeccable timing, those who could sell snow to the Eskimos, those who are great with numbers, confident speakers, prolific writers, technical whizzes and strategic masterminds.
Each role we take on can have quite a large scope – think of all the different types of doctors there are. Can you imagine one person being an expert in every field of medicine and being able to serve people in all those areas? When there is no definition, all definitions can apply, and we can find ourselves trying to fulfil a very wide range of expectations, and many of those can leave us feeling like a square peg in a round hole.
Having it ‘all’ doesn’t mean being everybody or doing everything.
It’s about being YOU with everything that you’ve got – whether that’s in business or at home
How do you do that? Here are my 4 ‘C’s to defining YOUR everything:
1. Choice – be selective about your expectations and define your roles around who YOU are and what’s most meaningful to you. Your life. Your business. Your family. Your terms.
2. Clarity – be specific about what exactly you’re going to do and when, rather than feel like you’ve got to do everything right now. “Write 10 blog posts” rather than “blog”. “Do 15 minutes of housework” rather than “keep cleaning”.
3. Completion and 4. Continuity – that might sound contradictory, let me explain. Have you ever been in a car journey with a child that keeps asking “Are we nearly there yet?” Seems to last forever doesn’t it? On the other hand, if they know what’s coming next in the journey (drive, stop for lunch, drive, ferry, drive, arrive) it becomes easier for them to recognize progress, and know what to look forward to next, when each step is completed.
You wouldn’t present a child with 11 years of schooling and tell them to just get on with it would you? Education is separated into key stages, school years, terms, half terms, weeks, days, and lesson blocks.Do the same for your business and personal goals – instead of one long unending project, where you never seem to get everything done, set milestones, stages and steps.
Allow yourself that sense of completion as you continue to make progress. Replace “I don’t have time to get everything done” with “This is what I am getting done… this is what I’ve completed today” and notice how that frees up your energy and momentum.
About the Author:
Grace Marshall is a mum, life and business coach, and writer who loves connecting people to their clarity, confidence and calling.
She is passionate about doing life, motherhood and business on your own terms, and shares her tips and strategies in her special report “Yes You Can! Top Ten Ways to Grow a Successful Business without Compromising Your Family” at www.Grace-Marshall.com/YesYouCan
